The Density of Core Wounds
Core wounds create the trajectory of our lives. Core wounds are profoundly powerful, with an intense dark density, an energetic structure that infiltrates our self-perception, worthiness, and self-love. Core wounds seek out and attract resonant dense energies, creating an entire life, that contains components of drama, chaos, pain, self-loathing, addiction, and ‘dark night of the soul’ episodes that can span years. Some are glaringly obvious, some are hidden.
Deficits Define Us
Not only are we navigating core wounds in this life, but within our DNA we carry ancestral wounds originating from patriarchal control, manipulation and violence from hundreds of years of persecution by the church, when we were branded as witches, our crime being healers, psychics, seers, midwives, herbalists and light bearers. As females, we incarnate into a system that overtly and stealthily tries to disempower us, the ‘system’ determines our relevance and value we offer to life, but our soul holds the truth of our innate feminine power and sovereignty. We arrive in this life already within a deficit, with the odds stacked against us. But what a challenge that is! Navigating through an entire reality crafted from a false paradigm of fear, persecution and disempowerment.
“As women, we are fire wrapped in love, and therefore unbreakable.” Sandy Robson
Core wounds are devastating, creating complex challenges that can feel overwhelming, and all consuming. We want to dissociate from them, minimize, diminish and shut them away. They take residence in our body and the subconscious mind remaining active, sometimes silent temporarily, if we create enough distractions. Then life happens, relationships and events trigger us, and we are faced with an opportunity to acknowledge, heal and evolve beyond our wounds. Life’s true purpose was to reveal our innate power, initiate our growth, and ultimately embrace self-love.
We are Divine Alchemists
The only light that comes from core toxic density, is the light derived from healing, as we consciously alchemize core negative beliefs and disempowering emotions, into alignment with our true souls’ essence, and purpose. The energy of core wounding and emotional trauma doesn’t get to take up and define the entirety of our lives, just a segment, so that we can experientially learn and discover that we are not powerless victims of circumstance, but purposeful creators aligned in heart-centred consciousness. We are ‘Divine Feminine Beings’ self-proclaimed alchemists, gifted with the innate ability to transform the densest of energy into love, otherwise we wouldn’t be here in female form.
Our Gift
Our core wounds are our gift to the world, once we have transformed them, and excavated the diamond deep inside, we establish a healing potential and parameter for a new world. We align with love; darkness has no power here.
Our Core Wounds have an absolute purpose and profound meaning. Collectively we are a feminine ‘clearing conduit’ to process patriarchal lies, control, hate, sexual shame, humiliation, exploitation, violence and aggression. We are here to alchemize the matrix of illusion. We have chosen on a soul level, to feel insignificant, irrelevant, powerless and victimized for a reason, to fully comprehend what it feels like to exist in an entirely different reality to the one that truly belongs to us, as sovereign, powerful women. Core wounds are the catalyst, that create the determination, strength, grit and will to heal and change our lives, no matter how mired we are in the past, and no matter how hopeless we feel.
There is no emotion, or belief, or circumstance, or person, or life situation, that is more powerful than who we are at the core of our being. Our lives have purpose, and core wounds are a significant part of realizing that purpose, a gateway to stepping into our authentic power.
Personal Wisdom and Knowing
What I’ve come to know, over years of core wounding and emotional trauma, is that although I may have felt weary, sad, angry and shamed, although I have experienced emotional breakdowns, dark night of the soul episodes, depression, despair, hopelessness, and physical illnesses, I never gave up my search for healing. I continued to believe that as much as I lived in the darkness, one day that would change into something distinctly opposite, something beyond what my limited mind could conjure and imagine. Giving up, was never an option, while there were times that I buckled under the enormity of the trauma that I held in my body and heart. It was all part of my process. I continually took tiny steps towards the light, that positive momentum created change.
The Deepest Wound
My core wound originated in sexual trauma; aged 2 years old. Then physical and emotional abuse at the hands of a violent, angry, out of control father, and abandonment by my mother. This set the stage for ongoing sexual abuse, rape (age 13, and 24) and emotional trauma that went on until my 50’s, it felt like there was no end in sight. For many years I relentlessly pursued healing with EMDR, Hypnotherapy, Energy Healing, Inner Child, Havening, The Journey, Psychotherapy, Tapping and MAP (Make Anything Possible).
Irrelevant and Insignificant
Until recently, I wholeheartedly believed that my sexual abuse age 2, was my most core defining experience, besides parental neglect and abuse. What I’ve now come to realize is that being treated as irrelevant and insignificant was particularly devastating and difficult to internally reconcile, mainly because I was in a state of denial and would invariably gloss over other people’s behaviour, to protect myself against the pain of feeling unloved and unworthy, this was all unconscious of course. Unfortunately, it is part of the feminine deficit we embody from conception, knowing our true value and place in the world was not an innate belief, but something we searched for, fought for, and eventually stood for. It brought us into alignment with our soul’s truth, that our significance and relevance is beyond measure. It is unsurprising that we spend a lifetime unknowingly colluding with a patriarchal system that actively seeks to keep us limited and disengaged from our authentic power. The odds are stacked against us, but maybe there is profound and meaningful purpose in that. Waking up to blatant injustice requires certain components; restriction, slavery, victimization, childhood abuse, violence and control, all grab our hearts, and all create a deep internal defiance, and drive towards freedom and liberation. Hundred of years in the making.
I Am Insignificant
I always felt insignificant, it was a childhood predisposition, and this belief created my reality. The internal friction between this old belief and the truth, was part of my initiation into my healing journey and to finally wake up and see the whole illusion for what it was. It took many years, and an emotional break down. The scene was set with people showing up in my life, playing the villain, antagonist, narcissist, fool, manipulator, deceiver, betrayer and abuser. Family, partners, friends, colleagues and players, a potent mix that triggered my core wounding, causing hurt, confusion, anger, indignation, disappointment and despair. Trying to suppress this well of emotions, was virtually impossible, the lid flew off and every stifled emotion erupted causing an episode of emotional dysregulation, that took weeks of using every skill and resource I had at my disposal to bring myself back into balance. However, it was a no-going back turning point, that allowed me to finally establish boundaries, and put myself first, and completely guilt free.
Betrayal
At the heart of it all, was family betrayal. A major trigger for me, that originated from my mother. She never demonstrated loyalty, protection and unconditional love, what I refer to as ‘Natures Agreement’. It just wasn’t part of her make-up, and at times would actively incite my dad to punish me, and my sister, knowing full well that it would mean a good slap or a beating. I never understood how a mother’s instinct to nurture and protect never applied to her, it felt like she had some sort of personality disorder, because she wasn’t a mean, cruel person, just jealous and disapproving. I remember being very jealous of my friends, when I witnessed how loyal and attentive their mothers were. I longed to feel special and safe. I always felt I was born into the wrong family. Now I know, there were no mistakes, just growth.
All part of my spiritual evolution into certainty, empowerment and sovereignty.
Exposing the Core Wound
Healing a wound requires inner awareness, to see it, feel it and give it reverence. It has profound meaning and significance, otherwise the wound wouldn’t exist. It is very real, an energetic structure that will only dissipate, when exposed, dissolved and the belief cleared. Otherwise, the wound remains dormant, running its agenda and program silently in our subconscious mind, creating issues and a life that might feel challenging, unfulfilling, exhausting and unsatisfying.
For me, it was time to face the truth and stop allowing people to treat me as irrelevant. I had spent my life minimising the pain this wound of betrayal created, showing up as being too nice, too helpful and fearful of confrontation. Being nice, I felt relevant and significant. I felt in control. It was time to stop feeling responsible for the well-being of others, cease jumping through hoops of other people’s expectations (even family), step back and concentrate on myself, putting my well-being at the forefront of my life. I tell this to my clients. Energy preservation is a fundamental requirement if we are to remain balanced, healthy and peaceful. Once we achieve this, then we can help others, not before.
Beliefs Create Our Vibration
Beliefs of ‘I am insignificant, I am unworthy, I am irrelevant, I am unlovable’, create our internal landscape, and a negative energetic structure that perpetuates itself repeatedly in our life. It cannot be any other way. Deep inner joy, does not manifest from ‘I am nothing, and don’t deserve to exist.’ The energetic density of negative beliefs creates our very biology, attracting to us people, situations and experiences that reflect our internal perception and reality. These beliefs need to be cleared allowing for an energetic upgrade through embodying a higher vibration. With every cleared belief and negative emotion, our vibration is raised, I have witnessed this in my own life and my clients. Life will always mirror, through relationships, experiences and contrast, where we are energetically, acting as powerful catalysts for internal change.
‘You are not, and will never be, what other people instilled within you.’ Sandy Robson
We ALL Have Negative Beliefs
I have never met anyone in my 25 years of therapeutic experience that doesn’t have a negative self-belief. We come in with a set of beliefs about ourselves and the world to grapple with, learn from, and then evolve into the next version of ourselves. Deciphering what those beliefs are can sometimes cause uncertainty and frustration, because we may have many, or we have been so accustomed to feeling a certain way, we can’t imagine life without feeling shame, anger, hopelessness and despair. If we believe ‘I am inherently bad’ guess what, life will mirror this back to you, with emotional trauma’s, unpleasant experiences, challenging people, and dysfunctional relationships. It simply can’t do otherwise as your vibration won’t allow for anything else. When negative beliefs are cleared, I’m not saying that life will be an absolute breeze, without any challenges, but it will be less stressful, much more positive, and the relationship you have with yourself will feel deeply satisfying.
A Powerful Gateway to Healing
All emotions and beliefs are stored in the subconscious mind and the body. Talking about them, will not initiate deep healing, although offers insight and understanding. To access our subconscious, requires opening the ‘gateway’ and this is done through a higher consciousness, the Superconscious. The Heart Awakening Revolution Therapy (HART), has been created to release anything of a low vibration within the body and subconscious mind, easily, safely and respectfully, allowing for a wonderful and expansive renewal. A new level of joy, clarity and peace awaits. Our Superconscious is infinitely wise and knows everything about our internal reality, albeit beliefs, emotions, experiences, everything within our timeline from conception. All of it is stored in the unconscious. Therefore, it knows exactly what beliefs and emotions are running our lives, and under instruction, will diligently, and effectively go to work clearing them, taking away the guess work. We are here to learn, and evolve, and our Superconscious is here to assist in this process, so we attain a higher vibration, bringing us into alignment with our souls calling and purpose.
Core wounds offer a foundational compass to healing and expansion. They are not meant to have total control over the entirety of our lives, as if we have no say over our journey. The only time wounds get to take the reins, is if we remain unconscious, in denial, and refuse to notice the red flags, and triggers. Our vibration remains the same, and nothing changes.
We always have power and choice, either to remain stuck in the past, or to listen to the soulful self and step into a new future. The Heart Awakening Revolution Therapy is an effective process to release anything from the past that is holding you back.